Watching X Files Late at Night is Such a Bad Idea

I recently discovered all 9 seasons of X Files are available on Netflix.

I tried finding a picture of Mulder and Sculley looking excited, but instead I found the inspiration for Zoolander

When I was younger I watched almost every episode with my dad. We’d watch episode after episode on vhs at his girlfriends house and then I’d practically cry when we had to go home (maybe this is the root of my tv binge watching). Though I only remember about half of what happened in the whole series, I very distinctly remember yellow-eyed bile-eating guy. The nightmares were real. So real.

That’s a bunch of nope

And now, after watching the first few episodes earlier today, it is now around midnight and THE EPISODE WITH THE BILE GUY JUST CAME ON (apparently it’s called “Squeeze”).This may not be a problem to most, but I am stupid afraid of the dark – too many bad scary movies/tv shows and too crazy of an imagination create one hell of a bad time in a dimly lit room. And on top of this, I soon have to leave the comfort of my very bright living room to brave the scary midnight-dark street to my car and then the walkway to my dorm. I will now imagine a scary alien man with super long fingers and creepy yellow eyes lurking behind me and coming to steal my liver.

NOPE NOPE NOPE

And while I do not remember the middle-ish areas of the episode, nor how long I will have to endure the ridiculous fear, I very distinctly remember the end. If you know the episode you will know why I was afraid of escalators for a LONG time. I don’t even think he dies for another few episodes – apparently that one’s called “Tooms” and it’s definitely NOT the next episode. The suspense is probably going to give me an aneurism (or at least keep me awake till 2am watching the rest of the season).

Accurate depiction of my current mental state

So, thank you X Files. I’m only afraid of almost literally everything now. But it’s okay, I still love you.

Do-doo do-doo dooo-dooooo